What is worse than waiting?

Death, maybe, if you subscribe to the belief that death is an ending. I don't, so then what? How about unrelieveable pain that doesn't allow you to think? That seems a little extreme. Waiting doesn't really compare to that- not even in the same ball park. The fact that waiting seems so bad is just a reflection of our wanting to know the future. If I could ask one question about the future per day (and get the correct answer without any seerish tricks) would waiting feel better then? I am waiting to hear if my daughter got into vet school. She thinks they will call today if she got in. Last year, they called as late as 9pm to let her friend know he was accepted. Her name is toward the end of the alphabet, if they call in alphabetical order. Her name might be near the beginning of the list of kids that were accepted, but we don't know when the decision was made, or when the first call was (or will be ) made. This feels very much like when we were waiting for the doctors to read my husdand's PET scan. (That was good news.) Have I used up my quota of good news? When I was with the preschoolers, we used to sing the "Hate to Wait" song. If I sing that the rest of this day, I'll annoy far too many people, but will develop that nice little non-thinking buzz that comes with tedious, repetitive tasks. Maybe I should just try meditation. Same effect, less annoying to those in the vicinity.

Now I also am worried about that whole "watching-what-you-wish-for" scenario. A co-worker accused me once of magical thinking. What's the point of thinking, if it can't sometimes be magical? If we just plod along without considering the potential for magic, I think things would be pretty dull. (You can call it divine intervention if you like.) One man's religion is another's mythology. Melvil Dewey was right about that, at least.

Try it. Try to think of a wish you want to come true. Think of all the wonderful things that will happen if your wish is granted. Now think of all the terrible things that might also happen if your wish is granted. Read "The Monkey's Paw" and see what happens about wishes gone awry. Maybe if she gets into vet school, she'll do zoo work and get eaten by a lion.

It just takes a lot of bravery to live into the next moment. Thank goodness time flits by so quickly! I wouldn't have the nerve to take the next step if time moved more slowly. Maybe that's why time seems to speed up as we age. We become more aware of the terrible possibilities that can happen in the next few seconds, so we need time to furiously pelt on.

I really hate to wait. I should work on that.